Ello my nibbletsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssz

Here's what happens when you give me a screwdriver and a few cheaply made eBay China cellphone parts.  In case I didn't make it clear enough in my video:

I don't know jack shit 

about phone repair

Here's what happened to my phone:

You know when you hold a pee...

 

And when you finally sit down to piss,

it's like a raging storm exits your body.

Well, I didn't piss on my phone.

but mother nature fucking did.

I just got off the Ching Chong version of a Grey Hound, and it was

rain was pissing from the sky.  

God, just hang a hose over my head, why doncha :/

It's not that I haven't seen rain (I live in a rainy ass city)

I've just never had to walk through such heavy rain.

 Despite my lack of knowledge, I decided to stick my dick 

in Shelly, and see what I could do.

I half succeeded

I basically just followed a YouTube tutorial.

 Thank god it was YouTube, and not Pinterest, otherwise

this would have been a complete fail.

It works, but poorly. It takes a FULL day to charge my damn phone. Faulty parts!

Lesson: Don't buy ratchet parts sent from China.  

Shit, the flex cable was sent in

a fucking zip lock bag that was lodged into a yellow bubble wrap lined parcel envelope.

It easily could have been bent the wrong way in post = =

It's prom season!  

While most of you high school seniors are probably super excited about the big day, I would suggest that you calm the fuck down and lower your expectations.  Chances are, 9/10, prom will not meet your fairy tale expectations.  So, I'm doing you a favour by bursting your bubble now.  You're welcome :)

 

That's about to be your dream of prom ^  Brace yo self

Prom isn't all picture perfect like you see in the theatres.  That beautiful slow dance?  Chances are, YOU WON'T HAVE IT WITH PRINCE CHARMING

Planning on doing the boom jiggity jiggity with your prom date?

If it's just for the sake of doing it, I beg, please don't.

Just don't don't don't - that's stupid.

Maybe this is more of an American thing, but there are so many stories about teens  

doin' the dirty on prom night.  I live in a pretty Asian dense area, so most of the kids I went to school seemed pretty conservative .... well, as far as I could see. 

I didn't necesarily hang out with the people you would label as being the "cool kids"

Some might call me a....

I mean, no, I'm super cool :)

There are plenty of cute promposal videos floating around on the internet, but that 

doesn't guarantee that you will be on the recieving end 

of one of these choreographed proposals.

Gotta hand it to you dudes, though. Setting up this shit

looks this a flat out bitch and a half.

Like for that second one, how the hell do you get everybody to practice without havingthe girl know?

You just tell her that everybody in the school is practicing for some dance competition?

A lot of people might be wondering:

How do you know so much about your prom?  You didn't go.

My friends filled me in.

Instead of going to prom, I decided to meet up with my friends

after the event.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HIS SHITTY VENUE

JEWEL BALLROOM CAN SUCK MY LADY DICK

My friend and I had to hardest time finding that damn

place, because whoever designed their website
fucked up

On the bottom of their website, they have their address.  

 That's to be expected

HOWEVER

when you CLICK on the link to launch google maps...

I know you're all smart people, so I'll let you spot the difference on your own.

Lemme tell you, it was a cold night, I spent the longest damn time
to find that shack.

I've personally emailed those fuckers at the ballroom to fix it, and that was a year ago.
Guess what they haven't fixed yet.

Hey, Jewel Ballroom

Should you go to prom, hope you have a good time.
Just keep your bits clean ;)

-pk