Stranded (Day 1)

BAD EXPERIENCE

Today . . . I guess it was technically yesterday, was the first day of school. How was it? Awful. There is but one thing that can describe how I feel about being at school: Forever alone O^O God forbid that anybody from school reads this! Although, I supposed it is inevitable for at least one person to stumble across this post (and thank you for reading). Back to being socially awkward. As I've posted before, I don't share too many common interests with my lunch buddies. Although I feel the obligation to call them my friends, they don't seem like what a friend should be in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, they've treated me very nicely throughout my high school career. What bugs me is that it always feels impossible to initiate conversation. In fact, it's difficult to the point in which they shut me down as soon as I great them with "Hi". The only time I can have a decent chat with my lunch buddies, is when they're alone (and I mean this literally). During an isolated situation like this, they are forced to converse with awkward little me. I feel BAD for talking to people T____T During conversations, my "friends" often express something along the lines of having been forced to write lines! Is it that agonizing to speak with me? Alva transfered to my school, so I spoke with him during lunch. He didn't shut me down, so that was nice ""orz HS is currently a rather dull point in my life. By no means am I enjoying (most) of the people that surround me. Mind you, there are some kind folk. Suzanna's cousin seems like a nice person. Very upbeat, but she's in gr12, and so is Alva QAQ Why can't nice people be in my classes! OH! Judy is gonna be in my bio class. That should be fun.

UNDERWORKING OVERACHEIVING

If I haven't mentioned previously, I once took a public speaking course. Was it hard? No, but it did get me shaking and nervous. With the hard work came improved public speaking skills.
What does this mean? I'm less likely to use stupid pausing words (umm, like, so...) I still use them on the occasion though. Nobody is perfect, myself included. I can conjugate a sentence in my head without thinking over how to word it in a way that sounds ... well, more though out. Very important, I have the confidence to voice my opinion during class. Whether that be a good or bad thing is beyond me, but it feels good to know my ideas are out their. Easily one of the main reasons this blog exists. You and I both know that there won't always be somebody to lend an ear for your everyday adventures. Instead of killing somebody's free time, you can just type it all out.

IF IT AIN'T CUTE, PUT IT ON MUTE!

Excuse as I act as a hypocrite for a moment. I strongly believe that if you have nothing to say, keep it to yourself. Probably stupid of me to say, seeing as how I blog about stuff all the time. Probably gonna be my goal for the new school year. Back to goal setting later.

I was at work today, and some coworkers were talking about how the employee of the month didn't deserve that position. Who were they to say that _________ didn't work hard! She was training so many people over summer! Personally, I think she works very diligently and didn't deserve that unnecessary comment. Why talk BS? Just work harder >___> It really bugs me when people say they dislike a teacher when they're getting a bad mark. got 65%? Are you working hard? If not, it's YOUR fault that you're not an A student. AIYA! (Although, there are some teachers who just DISLIKE you)

Goals:
• Avoid singling out individuals, and judging VERBALLY (The mind wanders, and I can't help it)
• Be more humble. I'm a teenager, but it's no excuse to have an ego
• Be punctual.
• work efficiently
• Make more friends OTL
• balance life/prioritize
• Try to not dress like a slob everyday.
• SLEEP EARLIER
• restrain spending habits
• eat (Totally skipped dinner today. regretting. Only had soup and ice coffee LIQUIDS D8< )
• not to offer out help too easily.
• Develope MU routine that is faster. Skip the lashes?....


tired//xoxo
pk