Parents, I'll never understand 'em

I apologize in advance for complaining about the parental unit again.

My mom is getting on my nerves again. I can't emphasize how much I think she says unnecessary things. She's always telling me thing that = "You are a disappointment". Like most people, I don't like going to the doctors. My mom keeps questioning why I "Don't trust doctors". I have 3 reasons

• Usually use unnatural drugs - Although drugs offer temporary relief, in the long run, they probably weaken the human body. However, I'll take meds if I feel like no home remedies will fix me.
• My doc gives me the impression that he just wants to get paid. My doctor is a fucking asshole, and he's too fucking happy all the time. He's seems like the type of guy who is chipper all the time for no goddamn reason. On top of that, he keeps commenting on my sisters first name, Ferlynn (which is read as fair-uh-lin, not fur-lin). It's not super common, but it's not particularly pretentious = = He kept spewing bullshit about how she will get bullied for having that name. Seriously, what the fuck? At least her name isn't L-a (Ledasha).
• It's a pain to leave the house for an hour to get 5 minutes of advice. Seriously, there's practically nothing to say each time I go to the doctors. Maybe it's because I'm lucky enough to not have many problems, but it's like I'm going there for nothing =3=

My mom also has a habit of saying I'm just like my grandpa, who she deeply hates. Tip to parents around the world, DON'T FUCKING INDIRECTLY SAY "I HATE YOUR DIRTY MONKEY ASS, YOU'RE JUST LIKE [insert identity with negative connotation]" WHENEVER YOU'RE HAVING A SHIT TIME WITH YOUR CHILD, 'KAY? Goddam. This is why I can't respect my mother, because she never respects me.

NOTE TO PARENTS: A s my friend has said before, if you feel that your kid's performance is sub par, that's your failure as a parent. In a sense, your child is an appendage of your person. If you knock something over with your right arm, you don't start yelling at your arm; It doesn't have an identity. You blame yourself because you control it. Although a child technically does have an identity, they will act based on the values they are taught.

Another thing that irritates me, she thinks I've got what it takes to get a scholarship. I'm not fucking getting one. I know she loves me, and wants me to be successful (which I'm somewhat skeptical of, because I think she's just living her life through me), but we have to be realistic: I'm just not that smart. My grades are decent at most, but I'm not even hitting 90%+ for my courses. It's just so fucking stressful and shitfilled for her to think that I can. I don't want her to have these expectations for me. They aren't flattering, and just remind me of how I'm shit. I know for a fact that I'll have to pay my way through post secondary, and that's assuming I'll get in. To be honest, I really don't want to have these pressures in my life. Regardless of whether my mom knows it or not, I live in the present. I've never been the type to plan far ahead to the future.

rant over

time to sleep