What up my ponies. Today felt like a busy day . . . or rather a disappointing day QAQ In math class, the teacher did a homework check, and I NEVER DO MY BLOODY HOMEWORK!! UGH. So sad, but nothing I can do about it now. I'm probably getting a failing grade in math right now. I just don't feel like giving school 100% right now, which is outrageously odd. Normally, during this time of the year, I like to pretend that I'm capable of getting super good grades, and I suck up to all of my teachers. I just don't have that drive right now, and I feel so exhausted. C'mon! I'm procrastinating right now = =  Overall, I just feel really disappointed in myself, because I am capable of getting As, but it's a matter of whether or not I can get my shit together in time.  I also bombed a quiz in socials.  Fuck, I honestly don't know what I'm doing right now, because I'm better than this!  I'M GETTING BACK INTO MY DARK AGES!!!!!  C'MON, GIRL!!  FUCK SLEEP, STUDY, AND MAKE UP FOR IT WITH CAFFEINE >: (  Don't tell me this is bad for my health, I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

Luckily, I'm happy with the people I hang out with at school, but the real thing that's getting to me at this time of my life is school work.  The amount I am given should be manageable, but I can't stay organized for shit.

Now that I'm done complaining about my stupid problems!  There's this boy in my math class who says he wants to blaze (aka smoke marijuana for you anti-slang folk).  I didn't hear his entire story, but the quick summary went along the lines of "I'm not happy with my life, it sucks!".  Obviously, I tried explaining that drugs were a bad way of coping with unhappiness, but he said he still wants to.  UGH, BOTHERS ME SO MUCH!! As if that wasn't enough, one of the school's many druggies says

"Do you have $5?"

It's just my luck that she was sitting next to me.  Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the girl.  What bothered me was the simple fact that she was getting in the way of my agenda.  I did not want to have another person in my life turn to drugs.  She debated that it's not technically addicting, so it's not hardly as bad as tobacco.  True, however, if you're depressed, you'll most likely be trying to seeks some sense of pleasure/happiness from marijuana.  I've never done marijuana in my life, but I would imagine that you would need more and more skunk to achieve that high.  Gradually, a person could spend exponential amounts of money on trying to feel good.  Goddamn, it's like paying for masturbation. Jizzing in your pants will not solve your real life problems, so go deal AND GET REAL AHHAHAHAHAHAHA rhymes - U -


But seriously, if you are doing drugs, smoking, or alcohol.  Do some self reflecting.  Is there something troubling in your life?  What is it?  Are you trying to avoid problems though these things?  Like any drugs, they're only temporary.  I was taking anti inflammatory for my eczema, but I just flared up after I finished taking my pills.  Getting your head up in the clouds won't make anything change, so just try to find some type of resolve.

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I dyed my hair black today!

I'm surprised my mom actually let me come close to hair dye!  She's been nagging me for the longest time to stay away from it, because recently my allergies have been really, really bad T A T;;

It so weird, because my I had no reaction to hair dye before!!!!!!!! AIYA

YAY!  Shitty webcam picture for your reference!  AHAHA!  Oh my god, I practically have no eyebrows.  It's probably due to the fact that I pick at them all of the time with my tweezers and scissors. Angry Asian eyebrows, gotta have 'em. ( 'A ` ;;)

On the topic of eyebrows, it looks so damn ugly when girls pencil in sharpie in their eyebrows.  I know you guys all fucking love Michelle Phan (nothing wrong with her at all), but when she says "define your eyebrows", she probably doesn't mean "take the blackest eyeliner you have, and try your best to recreate Shenaynay's signature brows."  =  =  By no means am I trying to say that I have perfect brows, because I obviously don't have any, but GIIIIIIIIIIRL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU DREW A DAMN DIAGRAM OF K2 ON YOUR FACE.

I feel sorta like a hypocrite since my eyebrows are slowly getting more angry looking... but normally they're pretty faded, so the arch does rape your attention span.  It's bloody 1am, and I am so bored, so enjoy the following ""orz

 

*annual cannot write for shit

90% of the stuff I captioned in pure BS, so please, if you have X eyebrows

and you feel offended. . . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

TOO FUCKING BAD, GO GROW SOME BALLS

OR GET YOUR EYEBROWS THREADED, BECAUSE

THEY ARE REALLY CAPTIVATING . . . and you're beautiful : )

and you touch my tingle.  Jokes.

In all seriousness, if you feel like I'm being judgemental,

you can go ahead and think I'm a close minded bitch.

I was watching this vid by XiaXue, and in the beginning, she addresses some

comments regarding her views on beauty.

In her last video, XiaXue said 

moon shaped faces are

UNFORTUNATE

This obviously offended a bunch of people.  One girl left the

following comment:

"I do like you and your videos, but I think the moon-face thing is a little much personally. I have a moon-shaped face naturally. However, unlike obesity, dandruff, acne or hair, it isn't something I can prevent or control. I was born with it. And I don't think there is anything wrong with liking my face. I'm in college, so it's not like I can drop down thousands of dollars to fix it anyways.
Why should I be told I'm not beautiful because I was born with a round face?"

Her argument is basically anything you can't control shouldn't be judged = =

What kind of shit college are you going to?  I personally think it's fair

to say that something your are born with can be unattractive.

How would there be two ends of the spectrum if everybody was

"beautiful"?  People can be born with ugly features

and traits, and that's just the way things are.  I have the world's

shittiest skin, and my body type isn't that hot either, but whether or not I am

pretty is subjective.  There's also the argument that it's not nice to judge, end of story.

Perhaps people aren't being judgmental, maybe they are just stating

their preferences for physical features.  Arguably, you can say this is still judging,

BUT IT'S NATURAL TO DO THIS.  HUMANS

HAVE MINDS THAT JUST NEED TO CATEGORIZE CRAP.

"This is nice, that's ugly, I need more of those . . ."

We don't look at everything and think

*cricket*

Stop taking stuff so personally.  Not everybody is going to like your face or my face.

 

Totally random ^ hazelnut spread.  looks so pretty : )

-PKZORZ

Well, not really.  Just letting everybody know that I will (hopefully) have a new video up soon!  There's just a from the upcoming video.  Yay!

Anyhow, I desperately want to dye my hair back to black.  It will mark a new chapter in my teenage life LOL!  I know, it sounds super cliche, but honestly, in retrospect, lopping off my hair and dying was really symbolic for me.  It was a result of my midlife crisis.
I don't think I'm even close to being old enough to experience one（　； ’∩‘）>  Regardless, went through some hormonal madness, and emotional distress, so I think dying my hair could be part of the "healing process".

Thanks to all of my fellow followers!
Too tired to carry on this night
-pk

Before I get the the ELF stuff, I got two books in the mail today!

F in Exams The very best Totally Wrong Test Answers

and

5 Very Good Reasons To Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth

From my selection of books, you can clearly tell I'm an intellect　(ﾉ￣д￣)ﾉ　　jks

ELF Haul

 

 I bought two concealers (spice, toffee) and an all over cover stick(toffee)

My skis is obviously not that tan, but I want

to use these for contouring my face.  Espcially

my flat Asian noooooooose.  I think that it will be easier to

use cream vs powder to contour.

$1/each

 

I also snagged this blush and bronzer palette.  I haven't even been

blush and bronzer recently, so I really bought this because I though it looked

pretty in the packaging! "orz  But I suppose it would be a lot more 

convenient to bring this for on the go （;;´∀｀）

$3

 

This is one of ELF's new products, The wrinkle refiner, so I though I would try it out.

I do not like it

This is supposed to fill in fine lines and such for better application of 

foundation.  I'm only a teenager, so I don't really have a big issue

regarding wrinkles, however, I thought this might best for better

application of concealer under the eyes.  After twisting the tube a million

times for the product came out, I applied it to my face with hopes of some 

amazing improvement to how my concealer would look.  I don't know if I did it wrong,

But I went ahead to put on my concealer, and the product began to flake off . . .

I don't know if I did something wrong, because all the reviews on ELF are 5 stars.

Anyhow, it looked so bad, I removed it.  I'll give it another try, but so far, it's not winning my heart

$3

 

Repurchased a waterproof eyeliner pen (black) because the tip on the 

pen I bought before is all feathered out.  I don't know if I closed the 

cap at an odd angle, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to buy a new one.

Then I bought a shimmering pencil in twinkle teal.

on the website, it looks like this nice electric blue, which I though might 

look nice on the bottom lash line, but I got it, and it looked darker than

I would have liked it.

$1/each

  

I ordered a brightening eye colour palette in Rocker.  I already have it, so I might

give it to a friend or something, if not I'll just sell it to some LG in the area . . . >D

I also got a single eyeshadow from the studio line in charcoal. 

$1, $3

 

Sadly, Charcoal came in the mail like this! AWWWWWWW ( T ^ T)

 

I also bought a back up of lipstick in nostalgic.  It's a nude colour

which I really like.  If you have a really intense coloured

lip colour, you can tone in down with a nude lipstick!

$1

 

Super Glossy Lip Shine SPF15 in Strawberry, Pink Pop and Party Peach.

I just love how affordable ELF glosses are, so I just added them to the cart

purely on a whim.

$1/each

 

Then I got a Hypershine Lipgloss in Honey as a gift.

That's my new swaaaaaaaaag

-pk

As a follow up to yesterdays post, I got the boot from Link Crew.  I was going to participate in this program where seniors "help" freshmen, but I missed this training session yesterday because I was caught up at work.  Today, I rushed my ass home from work, then to the community centre only to be told the word "No"

You see, I asked if there was any way I could possibly make up missing training.  Low and behold, I missed one of the key training sessions = =  Thanks email.  THEMAIL  JKS, FUCK YOU EMAIL  FUCK YOU IN THE ASS.

After doing a half assed job of trying to convince the teachers to keep me in, I just took their answer up the ass and left somewhat teary eyed.  It made sense to me that they wouldn't want me in.  If I can't manage myself to be at the training sessions now, what would it be like to have me be in link crew in the future?

While I was at  work today, I asked one of my coworkers if she wanted to switch with me (she was off at 1pm).

"Sorry, but we all have to make sacrifices!"

I suppose we do -  A  - //


While walking home in all my rejected glory, I tried to justify what just happened.

1. First, I tried to convince myself that they would be losing a wonderful asset *hair flip* 
2. I reminded myself of how much I utterly detested link crew as a freshman, because it forced to to get up early in the morning when every other student was allowed to sleep in. 
3. Recollected memories of how commercial all of the link leaders were, and from this it dawned on me that I might just be a little bit too bitchy to be fit for the role of a leader. 
4. there was a time when I once believed that link crew was a waste of time, and had few long term     benefits for students.  
5. The only true bonding experience derived from LC were from kids sharing a mutual dislike for GETTING UP EARLY.
6. Falsely advertise what to expect in high school.

Yeah . . .  Pretty upset, but I'm done raging.  Okay, HOPE LC PEOPLE DON'T FUCKING HATE ME :)
MAYBE THE HATE IS MUTUAL?

Shiet. Seriously, I feel like I don't have any reliable friends at school. Actually, that's not the case. The problem is my deficiency in the amount of close friends I have.

I joined link crew at my school, which is program where the seniors try and make the freshmen feel welcome. I'm not going to elaborate too much on my opinion of this program as of now, BUT SINCE WE GET CONTACTED BY EMAIL, I NEVER FUCKING KNOW WHEN THE MEETINGS ARE. PMO. I can not begin to express how much I bloody hate email. It's one of the worst forms of communications I know. Although you get the message, it's mandatory that you go out of your own way to check messages.

You know how important checking my email is to me?
It fucking isn't.

I think in this day and age, it would make an awful lot of sense for teachers to have twitter/facebook pages accounts. When it comes to education, it should be important that educators find modern methods of reaching students. Why should we stick with obsolete methods when modern means of networking are free and effective? I'm going to have to call the school tomorrow during my break, because I just saw the email regarding today's training session. There's another one tomorrow 1-6, but I have work from 7-3. The email was sent out on Aug 28 which was already late for me to book the day off for work >___>;; It's always a pain in the ass to try and find coworkers to take your shift.

Proof I have no friends LOOL Inspired by Yowayowa, half the grace.

-pk