The Consequence

From Angry Teenage Girl to Her Mother:

To all parents and people out there, try not to excessively lecture you kids; Be extra careful about lecturing your kids if you don't have post-secondary education. Why? Your lack of education creates a weak point. It can symbolize your ignorance. Not necessarily true, but school is something most people associate with as a tool for "curing" ignorance. If you don't have post secondary, or didn't achieve very much in high school, please be open minded to any teenage angst or senselessness you may come by.

Teenagers are some of the worst people you'll ever meet. They are loud, obnoxious, and too damn cocky. You can lecture and reason with them, but unless your arguments are crazy good, don't expect anybody to be listening (actively listening).

Regardless of how good your argument is, say it ONCE not a million times. It's like food; If you eat your favourite food everyday, every meal, it'll probably lose its delicious factor (BLAH). Overuse your argument, and it goes bad. Easy as that.

DON'T YELL! Why?
A) you're setting a bad example of how to deal with idiots
B) you LOOK like an idiot, and nobody listens to idiots.

Don't "lecture"(I use the term lecture loosely) anybody when asking them for help. You come off as an A-hole. Not only are you treating this person like crap, but now you expect them to HELP you? Are you fucking kidding me. Treat other as you would treat yourself. If you're a masochistic maniac, treat other people like NORMAL non-pain loving people PLEASE.


I Hate Immigrants

They: Who are you?
Me: Who am I?
They: Yes.
Me: I'm the consequence of selfishness.
They: How so?
Me: Everybody wants something, and I was the result of a twisted wish. No choices. To me, life seems less of a blessing, and more of a curse. My existence was the only thing that could seal the contract. They fucking sold my soul to the devil for some God damn documents. These selfish people will never see how broken I am, and they might never realize what a train wreck they are themselves. Regardless of the conviction they speak with, and this seemingly better reality, yesterday is forever carved into stone. My life cannot be taken back, only taken away.

Life is no blessing when it is used, and toyed with. I have to play along, because my parents thought they could find a better life in a new country.

Arguments

Can you tell that I just had an argument with my mother? As much as I may appreciate her so called "teaching" in the future, I resent her right now. I'm probably in the wrong, but this is how it went down

[flash back]

*My mother walks into my room as I surf the net*

MOM: What's that smell?
ME: Oh, I bought some stuff off eBay.
MOM: What did you get.
ME: Nothing
MOM: *She picks up the brush set on my bed*
Geez, you bough another brush set?! How much was it?
ME: $10
MOM: GOD! Why don't you spend more time reading, and less on make-up
ME: Okay! I get it! You don't have to keep rambling
MOM: You're way too brave! I don't even know any university students who order things online.
ME: MOM! I GET IT!
MOM: You need to ask my before buying things. You have to spend money wisely! Do you know who gave you that money?
ME: MOM! SHUT UP!
MOM: YOU THINK YOU CAN SCARE ME BY SPEAKING LOUDER? WHY ARE YOU SO REBELIOUS
ME: *mutters *I'm a teenager . . .
MOM: I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU IF YOU SPEAK IN ENGLISH! I WAS JUST SPEAKING TO YOU IN A QUIET TONE, BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN.
ME: I WAS! BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT I UNDERSTOOD!!
MOM: *looks around* Your room looks like a pig sty! It's no wonder your skin is so bad.
ME: Believe what you want, but I gets worse when I'm agrivated, and right now, you are ticking me off.

this keeps going, and she tells me I look like a hooker. If my grandpa can disown my as a granddaughter, I disown my position in this family.

I feel like shit right now. I miss elementary, but I don't miss being ten years old. I was the type of kid who said "I wish I were dead", "things would be better off if I were gone", "I'd rather die." That's what I would tell my mom from ages 8-10. It probably broke my mother's heart to hear that I wanted to die. To be honest, I don't care if it hurts her. What goes around comes around.
We (my family) eventually moved, and life seemed somewhat better. I stopping talking about wanting to die, because life was "precious" to me. It was precious, and I hated emo kids. Hypocrite? Totally.

For the next 2 years, life was flipping awesome. Maybe not on the way in, but it surely got better. Not only did I quit Chinese school (something I've been crying over for the last five years), I had made new friends who showed me new ways of enjoying my time. That there was more to life that going through some tragically depressing routine. Sure, I was a LITTLE tired, but I was happy.

After the next two years, everybody graduated from elementary. My friends went their separate ways (we still stay in contact), and I was ushered into the new atmosphere of high school. The large halls and students were intimidating. I was once again on the bottom of the social food chain. Horray. . . My eyes automatically scan for somebody I might know. I find a group of students from elementary. These people became my friends for the rest of the year, and we would all sit together during lunch, but it was difficult. These friends became acquaintances as they each found new friends who shared similar interests. Me? I found nobody with similar interests, and if I did, we wouldn't speak to one another. Do you think kids help phone actually helps?


I know I'm in leadership, and this is probably a bad way to deal with life, but I'm going to fast.

Your's depressingly,
-pk